Letter to a young songwriter

I just wrote this random email to a young, 18 or 19 yr old kid on myspace... He lives in Kansas... He's a songwriter in a band... He's got a cute, sweet girlfriend who loves him to death... His name is "Chance".

I suppose it's a random act of unsolicited advice... but who knows, it might prevent thousands of pounds of regret and pain. Probably not.


hey chance,

so you don't know me AT ALL. and i don't know you at all. but i think i somehow became "friends" with your girlfriend on myspace... i forget her name honestly. but she seems like a really sweet girl -- truly. i just quickly scanned her page (because i guess she has a birthday or something today) and she CLEARLY loves you to pieces.

here's the reason i'm writing. she's something like 18 right? you're probably close to the same age, I'm guessing. i've been writing songs, playing in bands since i was about 16 -- probably just like you. so here's some advice from your possible future:

treat your girlfriend really well. chances are very high that you're going to blow her off, or leave town, or act stupidly... it's okay -- everyone does this. it's kind of required, actually, in one's younger years. it's the primary way we learn - the hard way. but if you can avoid it, i would. because i had a girlfriend like yours years and years ago and i blew her off, acted stupidly, left town to go travel around the country, pursue music, etc. and you know what??? here it comes... all of the music, all of the gigs, all of the records, all of the reviews in the world will very likely never compare with how it feels to have a great girl love and adore you. i know... it seems sappy. but it's true man.

in a way, you're screwed... because we don't know what to do with these things when we have them. we have to fuck them up in order to learn their value. but if you can avoid that, you'll be thankful that you did some day.

take care,

john common
denver, co via vermont via new york city via kansas via florida via north carolina via pennsylvania