I left my body today (almost)

I was sitting on the edge of my bed. I'd just woken up. I was in that middle place before you know that you didn't know that you were dreaming... It was a dream I have all the time that I can't tell you about. But suffice to say it made me float above myself (almost). I felt like I was exiting, or maybe entering (almost). I looked down and saw myself curled up in a ball on the mattress. And for that split second before i fully woke up i realized that there was literally nothing that I wanted to realize. It dawned on me that when we give up, most things get better. But anyway...

Letter to a young songwriter

I just wrote this random email to a young, 18 or 19 yr old kid on myspace... He lives in Kansas... He's a songwriter in a band... He's got a cute, sweet girlfriend who loves him to death... His name is "Chance".

I suppose it's a random act of unsolicited advice... but who knows, it might prevent thousands of pounds of regret and pain. Probably not.


hey chance,

so you don't know me AT ALL. and i don't know you at all. but i think i somehow became "friends" with your girlfriend on myspace... i forget her name honestly. but she seems like a really sweet girl -- truly. i just quickly scanned her page (because i guess she has a birthday or something today) and she CLEARLY loves you to pieces.

here's the reason i'm writing. she's something like 18 right? you're probably close to the same age, I'm guessing. i've been writing songs, playing in bands since i was about 16 -- probably just like you. so here's some advice from your possible future:

treat your girlfriend really well. chances are very high that you're going to blow her off, or leave town, or act stupidly... it's okay -- everyone does this. it's kind of required, actually, in one's younger years. it's the primary way we learn - the hard way. but if you can avoid it, i would. because i had a girlfriend like yours years and years ago and i blew her off, acted stupidly, left town to go travel around the country, pursue music, etc. and you know what??? here it comes... all of the music, all of the gigs, all of the records, all of the reviews in the world will very likely never compare with how it feels to have a great girl love and adore you. i know... it seems sappy. but it's true man.

in a way, you're screwed... because we don't know what to do with these things when we have them. we have to fuck them up in order to learn their value. but if you can avoid that, you'll be thankful that you did some day.

take care,

john common
denver, co via vermont via new york city via kansas via florida via north carolina via pennsylvania

Carousel - $50 song

I just finished a new song named "carousel". it's one of those $50 songs... where someone (a friend, a fan, an enemy of the state, whatever) sends me $50 and an idea for a song and I write it, record it and mail them a CD copy of it. This one is for a girl named Angel... The only direction she gave me was "something about a carousel". I actually do better with less direction, I think... Anyway, here are the lyrics:

carousel
oct 20, nov 8, 2006

climb aboard baby
I might be chipped but I've been around
if is this your first ride
well you couldn't have picked a gentler mount

round and round we go
a spiral never ending
and where it stops, we do not know
that's what we're saying…

this circle we're traveling
this carnival calliope of circumstance
you're holding cotton candy
wet, wet sugary lips

round and round we go
barely touching, shallow breathing
round and round we go
painted smiles, baring our teeth

oh no
do not cry for the time you've wasted
do not cry for the things you're losing
do not cry for the ones who loved you dear
'cause they live inside you like a cancer cell
you're really crying for the carousel

the carousel is weeping
for the horses all locked inside
pierced by these posts of need
and ridden into the night

round and round we grew
a spiral never ending
and where it stopped, we always knew
an old world ending…

swim away...

My shoulder hurts. I smoke too much. My mind has acquired a limp. This wandering, pointless desire… a hooker who steals your wallet when you take a piss. I gave back the bed but what to do with all these sheets? Women are dismantling me incrementally. I am a willing participant at my own foreclosure. This screenplay needs a new plot. Fire the cameraman... he's a pervert. No denouement can save me now. Lust is a hangover and love is a movie you've seen too many times. I knew her lines better than she did. I lost my car in a beautiful parking lot – which one? Let her have it -- just don't look in the trunk. I’d give back these boots but I’ve already worn holes in them. When will I stop talking to the ghosts in my bed? Who built this prison in my heart? Who issued the permit? Revoke her license – she’s blind with power. It takes a day to roll myself into a plan… and by the end of the night I’m smoked down to nothing. One thing is perfectly clear: this boat is an anchor. Swim away.

New Song - June 25

here's a new song from this morning... imagine it played with an out of tune banjo and pots and pans...

broke

I was broken when I came out of my ma
I was broken when I came out of my ma
it took me down a notch when she gave back what she saw
I was broken when I came out of my ma

I hit the road at the age of five
I hit the road at the age of five
I was short and I was broke --- but glad to be alive
I hit the road at the age of five

broken like a watch that doesn't tick
broken like a pony without a single trick
I'm broken like a car that refuses to go
I'm broken babe, 'cause broke is all I know

my best part broke in birmingham
my best part broke in birmingham
I tried to get it fixed but they didn't give a damn
my best part broke in birmingham

I tried to trust a girl named annalee
I tried to love a girl named annalee
she broke my heart in two then she blamed it all on me
I tried to love a girl named annalee

broken like a watch that doesn't tick
broken like a pony without a single trick
I'm broken like a car that refuses to go
I'm broken babe, 'cause broke is all I know

New Song... May 31st

i wrote a song yesterday about going to the movie theater with a girl and making out. the idea is that they don't really get along too well anywhere else... but in the movie theater -- where they can't talk and screw it all up -- in the dark -- in that dreamy movie state -- everything's pretty much perfect...

john


in the dark
may 31, 2006

it's a confession but it's easy to tell
we go to movies and make ourselves
right at home
sitting in the dark

I got your shirt draped over my arm
you wear a skirt 'cause outside it's warm
nobody knows
what you don’t have on…

in the dark
watch the lights flicker
the movie starts
and then we're off

I sneak a flask in the pocket of my jeans
we drink it straight in the love making scenes
milk duds, kisses, popcorn in your hair
everybody's looking… I don't care

in the movies it's simple
no wasted words
to get in the way

step outside and the sun hurts my eyes
it's hard to climb back into your life
it's so much easier, there in the dark
just you and me…

in the dark
watch the lights flicker
the movie starts
and then we're off

in the dark
watch the lights flicker
the movie starts
and then we're off

The EVERYBAND Photo

This is one of my favorite photos in the world. Every band starts this way... essentially. And if you're lucky, you never stop feeling like this on stage.

Lyrics to 'Good To Be Born'

JOHN COMMON GOOD TO BE BORN
Copyright 2006 john common music




what are you waiting for
you're with withholding. now unfolding inside. to be holding that smile that turns me into... juxtaposer, such a see through loser, hold me closer this limping horse wants to run. what are you waiting? for who’s going to save you when you’re on fire? what are you waiting for? for jesus to come and throw you in the ocean? motor scooter, my fly commuter, to be your new suitor at least until the sun comes up. something chemical. illogical. and digital. it's beautiful in my head in my head. quiet breakdown... my mistake was making those awake sounds you make when you want to get up. what are you waiting for? who’s going to save you when you’re on fire? what are you waiting for?

it's out
i just left to catch the bus, distancing the two of us, to go to work and fake like i could care. i imagine you in wrinkled sheets, flying planes while you're asleep, waking up and playing solitaire. go outside. live your life. it's out. you live too much inside your head. i've seen all books you've read that tell you what to think and not to do. solitude can leave a mark; leave you standing in the dark waiting for the light to come find you. go outside. live your life. it's out. i don’t care where you go as long as you know that it’s good for you. believe it. i wonder what you're waiting for... i see you standing by. it's out there. just waiting. i see you, don't worry. stop thinking. it's stupid. it only makes you crazy. if something could break you it'd only break you open. if you would stop talking you'd hear me saying to you i'll be waiting. i'll be waiting.

call me right now
two guitars, bass and drums... we drove here from washington. all the way in the snow. we came here to play for you. i don't want to be alone. oh not again. i'm tired of waiting by the phone so call me. call me. larry left, he could not stay. it was too much being away. a wife and kids, who's to blame? i don't wanna play that game. i don't want to be alone. no not again, not again, not again, not again. i'm trying to keep you in my mind but you're getting hard to find. i don't know why. i think your eyes are bluish gray. i think you were born on veteran's day. i can't recall. i don't want to be alone. i don't want to be alone. tired of waiting by the phone so call me, call me, call me right now.

coming in for a landing
i felt a drop. i felt a drop, now i'm descending. i'm tired of where i've been. the messages. the messages that i've been getting are finally sinking in. i've got the wheels down. i've got the flaps down. it's time now. coming in for a landing. i thought the ground. i thought the ground was out to hurt me and put me in my grave. out of fuel. out of fuel and feeling lonely but finally not afraid. i've got the wheels down. i've got the flaps down. it's time now. coming in for a landing. coming in for a landing. it might be the last one... oh no. i see the ground. i see the ground rising toward me. it's time to put it down. i wonder who. i wonder who'll be waiting for me when i'm finally on the ground. i've got the wheels down. i've got the flaps down. i think it's time now. coming in for a landing. i've got the wheels down. i've got the flaps down. it's time now. coming in for a landing. coming in for a landing. it might be the last one... oh no. it might be the last one... oh no. it might be the last one.

triste y hermoso
purple evening settles down. the ice caves in, the liquor drow.ns you used to sing to me in spanish. the key snaps off without a sound. i'm gonna put you back in gear. drive get me out of here. all the clocks are speaking spanish. you're catching fireflies in your hair. sad and horrible. sad and laughable. sad and terrible. you say you know what you’re gonna do... well i think i know what you want. you say you know what you’re gonna but you’re not gonna get it from me. my pockets are filling up with sand. i see the dirty dollar in your hand. i was your teacher long ago... i gave it up to be your man. rust the wind with a greasy sky. stick a needle in my eye. my desk is covered with broken glass. it's not so bad to have to die. sad and terrible. sad and laughable. sad and beautiful. sort of terrible. it’s kind of biblical and sort of digital. sad and beautiful. very regrettable. sort of pitiful. sad and beautiful.

the other side of town
on the other side of town, wear your love like a crown. with your heart on my vest... and you know that it's best... on the other side of town. when your train gets in i won't ask where you've been. on the other. with the rain coming in and my pockets jingling. this cigarette's all gone and i'm humming our song on the other side of town. when your train gets in i'll be playing my violin on the other. oh, just like a gypsy -- hanging around. a painted tear on a clown. oh, just to be holding that which i love and can't let go of... disappear in the crowd... oh my love i'll find you out. your heart calls to me like a stone dropped in the sea. on the other side of town. when your train gets in i'll be drowning in gin on the other side of town. when your train gets in i'll be drowning in gin on the other... oh, just like a gypsy -- hanging around. a painted tear on a clown. oh, just to be holding that which i love and can't let go of...

in a bookstore
i don't mean to be the one to keep you from your bookish fun but i might be that guy today. it's difficult to act cool when you feel this way. the way you twirl your curly hair and bite your lip when people stare ...it crushes me beyond belief to know the center of attention wants to be alone. let's go to the library where we can hide away and find a secret place. you and me... oh, like a romance novel. let's go to the library where we can hide away and find a secret place .you and me... oh, i can buy you books baby. before you blush and disappear let me whisper in your ear a secret only you and i will know. i'll see you in an hour baby. don't be slow. i'll see you in an hour baby. don't be slow. i'll see you in an hour baby. don't be slow.

anyway
she dresses like a fire sale. she's a punk rock jezebel wearing last night's favorite perfume --whiskey and a cigarette plume. she could crush my heart like a flower. i've only known her for an hour. she thinks i'm young and i don't have a clue. but i know what i'm gonna do. every syllable will fall in time. every single word will make her smile, smile. i'll sing her songs with my old guitar. i'll paint poems on the hood of her car. she's gone in the wink of an eye. she said you'll never see me cry. that's a wrinkle i could do withou.t i'm fighting not to follow her out. but she was beautiful tonight. she made me feel alright sitting naked in the back of her car. i fell like a shooting star. it's obvious she never meant to stay but i'm gonna make her love me anyway. anyway. i'll sing her songs with my old guitar. i'll paint poems on the hood of her car. anyway. anyway. i'll sing her songs with my old guitar. i'll paint poems on the hood of her car.

summer
what are you... what are you... what are you doing? what are you doing? you turned... you turned... you turned and looked at me. you turned and looked at me. summer coming down. summer coming down. summer coming down. i can wait. i can wait. headed for... headed for... headed for, for the ditch. headed for the ditch. i had to... i had to... i had to take the wheel. i had to take the wheel. summer coming down. summer coming down. summer coming down. i can wait. i can wait.

my heart is a wurlitzer
my heart is a wurlitzer. you've got to beat it. it makes a better sound if you mistreat it. i want to tell to you that so you would know it’s your fault. it's like a bicycle and when you ride it you've got to pedal hard so you don't crash it. and it's only got one lonely gear -- really fast. i don't want to see you when you're out, hanging with your boys. it makes me kind of crazy just to think you used me like your... dog. it’s a wurlitzer. it’s a wurlitzer. it’s a wurlitzer.

and say my goodbyes
how could everything have changed and nothing else remains the same except for you? empty places on the wall, no one left to call, you took them too. who said this was easy? they lied, okay. if i could crawl inside you i'd wither away and say my goodbyes. i can feel you on my skin trying to get in my head. and i know that that aint right. i fight it every night inside my bed. who said this was simple? they lied, okay. if i could crawl inside you i'd wither away and say my goodbyes.

Desire. Impulse.

Desire is
the jail.

Impulse is
the jailor.

Illuminated Manuscript Free Song Association Club

It feels really good to finish something. After we finished ‘Good To Be Born’ I put it on my stereo, hit play, and sat in front of a blank piece of paper…

ILLUMINATED MANUSCRIPT FREE SONG ASSOCIATION CLUB

What Are You Waiting For
A cricket lived bedside my house last summer. He kept asking the same question over and over and over.

It’s Out
"Don’t wake me up... It’s warm in here." A sleepy melody gets plugged into 500 growling tube amps and becomes a pounding sledgehammer driving home a simple point: get out of your head, get out of your bed, get out of your house... All the good stuff is out there. Go get it. 13 bombs go off and finally you're awake.

Call Me Right Now
My old record player finally died. Just like a relationship. Or a band. So I drank a lot. And then I wrote a song. It’s a soundtrack to one long internal conversation trying to make sense of things.

Coming In For A Landing
I had a dream. I was flying... A World War I biplane... There I was, floating around and having a good time. I was wearing goggles playing hide and seek with clouds. Then I started looking down at the people and the houses and the dirt far below... and suddenly flying seemed like an empty pursuit — I missed being on the ground. It started getting cold and I wanted to land.

Triste Y Hermoso
My band is a gang of brutal detectives. Secret agents. We traffic in mysterious things. There are puzzles in this world that can’t be solved with logic. We use our guns and knives like musical instruments. We will open you. Evil does exist. Love songs can not save you. We will root them out... Watch them run.

Other Side Of Town
Never fall in love with a girl from the circus. She will break your heart flawlessly and beg you to come back for more. During the long days, you keep your head down and pretend that you’re not waiting for her to return. You fill your nights with gin and cigarettes... Her husband will eventually kill you with his knife. You know this but you won’t listen, will you?

In A Bookstore
She was a writer. She worked at a bookstore. She loved libraries. She knew words he would never know. She was brunette. She crushed him.

Anyway
A tree falls into a river a thousand miles upstream. Nobody notices. Through miles of snags, sand and rocks, the inessential wears away. Waterlogged and ground down, it travels toward her... Compression and carving do their work slowly. She is standing on the bank now – expecting nothing. At the perfect, predetermined moment, she looks up. All she sees is a tight knot of guitar, bass, drums, voices, memories and images floating past her, solid and tight... They call these “river teeth”. The dark sap of desire is all that saved it.

Summer
Right before I grabbed the steering wheel and swerved to avoid the oncoming truck, everything got very quiet. I looked over at her... Arm out the window, wind blowing her hair, watching miles of wheat stretch out, singing softly with Chet Baker... She didn’t know we were about to wreck.

“My funny valentine...”

My Heart Is A Wurtlizer
I’m a goof around you. I can’t walk right when you’re in the room. Nothing is in tune. This is my problem. Even the children are faking like they care. One part mixed metaphor, one part noisy rock hymn for things doomed to break. I’m sending you morse code love letters in my mind.

And Say My Goodbyes
An old recording of a guitar magically appears on the desk of an old house that feels empty. There is dust and dog hair everywhere. People lived here once. You walk into the living room and startled pigeons flap their wings, madly trying to fly out the open window. You sit down, leaning against the front door, and mentally re-arrange the furniture.

Opiate Babble

I broke my wrist and my hand. Heavy use of pain meds followed. I typed this out at 3AM with my remaining good hand, hunt and peck style…


opiate babble

i forgot my hand was dead
unblinking and asleep
i mean awake i mean undead
a zombie hand full of syrup
i bleed fake blood for you
who is that calling my name
rush over to my crypt
and tell me stories of how john paul jones lost the battle
but won immortality - they nearly drowned
bad luck intersecting with hubris --
it's good ad copy though,
i have not yet begun to fight.
even then, a sound clip could move political mountains
mountains of perception,
of hope and lust disguised as love disguised as obligation
dicovered late at night
will you pour me a drink?
will you hold my hand?
will you hold my head?
will you stare at me until i fall asleep?